I think this should be a pretty interesting topic to talk about. I have never really set any criteria towards any guys though, been following my feelings too much which is not so good because I always ended up being hurt badly. I think it's not that I have never really set but somehow I just didn't bother to follow it. Anyway, feelings are still very crucial to me, for example if there is a guy the criteria which I wanted but there were no 'chemistry' between us or if we doesn't click hence no feelings, then it will not work.
After the last break up, I have been pondering about what kind of man I want in my life. I am very tired getting the 'wrong' guys, getting in and out of relationships. On the dark side, it is wasting my time, efforts, tears, feelings and youth. On the bright side, lesson learned so I do better in the next r'ship and I'm much clearer on what type of man is compatible with me and what type of relationship exactly I want in my life. Hence, it's better I filter strictly this time to avoid heartbreaks and waste of time.
After the last break up, I have been pondering about what kind of man I want in my life. I am very tired getting the 'wrong' guys, getting in and out of relationships. On the dark side, it is wasting my time, efforts, tears, feelings and youth. On the bright side, lesson learned so I do better in the next r'ship and I'm much clearer on what type of man is compatible with me and what type of relationship exactly I want in my life. Hence, it's better I filter strictly this time to avoid heartbreaks and waste of time.
I am pretty much a simple girl and I do not have such a high expectations, I think I am pretty easy to be contented. In general, I just like guys who are charming, smart + intelligent (high IQ + EQ), fluent in English and able to converse in Chinese. I am a very serious person in relationship and always been wanting someone whom I can spend with the rest of my life, someone who love me as much as I love him and accept for who I am, someone who makes me happy all the time, someone I can rely on and take care of me. To find someone compatible and have the same feelings as you do is actually not easy at all!
In terms of character, I like mature, extrovert, bold (i am pretty bold myself so I prefer my man to be more bold - I dislike cowards), confident, capable, sensible, open minded, honest, straight forward, have sense of direction as in knows exactly what he wants in his life, good sense of humour, sociable, friendly, humble, optimistic, generous, caring, patience, good temper, sporty, serious, motivated, active and interesting. It would be really cool if he can play any musical instrument and able to sing well.
Meanwhile, I would like someone who have future plans, a stable career and also financially stable (so he can focus more on me as I crave for a lot of attention from my better half), romantic (as I am a pretty romantic person myself), responsible, reliable, able to guide me in life and generous towards me. I don't like stingy guys because in my experience, most of stingy guys are very selfish! I would like to clarify that I am not looking for rich man, being financially stable means he is able to provide for the family, not 'rich'!
Furthermore, in terms of outlook, I prefer macho type of man, I don't fancy skinny and pretty boys but of course not obese ya cause it's not healthy. I like tall guys so I can wear sky high heels as I like, preferable at least 10cm taller than I am would be nice (which is easily attainable as I am very short, I am below 160cm), haha! Skin colour wise, not too fair/dark but actually both height and skin colour are not important. Although I like to look at handsome guys (which girl doesn't like!), my better half don't have to be very handsome but must be pleasant + decent looking, clean and neat looking. I wouldn't be attracted to a guy with bad complexion as I like clean and neat look.
I officially ban guys who are gamers and younger than me! Due to past experience(s), now I would definitely not tolerate immature younger guys and gamers. Another type of men which I absolutely dislike (or ban) are those who go to prostitutions (including those who go request for special service at massage parlour/KTV, sorry I despise such men), gamblers and regular/addicted smokers. Sorry but it's hard for me to accept a smoker as my better half. I think smoking is a very bad habit and it's so bad for the health and I wouldn't want me and my future kids to be second hand smoker for the rest of our life.
And for guys who love to flirt me, sorry but those sweet words will not impress me at all, I don't buy all those sweet empty words! And for guys who has a girlfriend and still flirts around, oh please, don't you have a respect for your girlfriend? If ya still want to flirt around, don't be in a relationship! I want a long term relationship, not a fling. Anyway, for serious type of guys who said those sweet words the bottom of his heart and put his words into actions which I can feel his sincerity, it would really make me feel really touch and impressed. It's sincerity that counts and actions speak louder than words!
18 comments:
Your expectations still do seem to be pretty high but i think it is normal for women to want to find a man who can try to meet all those criterias. You should really let your admirers read your blog. I am sure if they loved you very much they would try and change to be better men and also try to be everything you want in a guy. I think the type of guy you are looking for is someone about 5-6 years your senior or even older as they will be mature enough and are financially stable enough. Everyone else near your age group would be too busy trying to build their financial stability up. Damn, I guess that leaves me out of the chasing race. Lol. Only joking. That is kind of sad for guys around your age group or younger to know they can't have the girl they love due to these reasons.
Yeah mate. You're absolutely right. I reckon you're out of the race. Maybe it's a good thing as well. As you can see, she's a hard one to please eh. Anywayz, smart girls knows what's right for them.
I guess let the best man wins her heart.
Somehow I do think guy maturity might not really determine by their age but what they have gone through.
Some of those at our age are pretty good n steady, as well as financially.
Tz, wish you meet him soon.
Anonymous 1, pretty high huh? oh well, it's not mandatory but preferable to meet all those criterion. I would like the guy to be themselves rather than change themselves to suit my preference. Well, what you have mentioned about the age part is quite true to a certain extend but then age really doesn't depict the maturity of a man. I have met a few men in their 30s but their mentality isn't sensible and mature! some in their 30s still fooling and partying all the time.
Actually, I don't mind a guy who are still building his financial stability, it's about balancing your life between career and relationship. Some guys are just immature to handle the pressure from both career and relationship and giving all sort of bullshits to end of the relationship, e.g. focusing on career. I am speaking of my life experience.
Oh well, I believe it's better for them to go after younger girls unless they have the same level of mentality + maturity as I am and stable enough. haha!
Kha Loon, yeah I do agree with you. I never judge a guy's maturity by his age. Although I do expect older guys shall have higher level of maturity. Ya, quite a number of factors...it's about their mindset and how they bring themselves. Those 'some of our age pretty good n steady etc etc' is like who? share share eh! Thanks, things will come naturally in time.
Anonymous 2, thanks for complimenting me "smart". I like that! haha!
I stand corrected. :) You guys are correct on all accounts. Love as in life has many factors to consider. And theoretically older guys are seen to be more mature and financially stable as they are expected to have gone through more in life. Although there are exceptions.
And I was just joking about chasing her. She is not a hard one to please. If I did have feelings for her, I would gladly chase her to the ends of the world and change for her no matter the cost. I am sure her future husband would feel this way. As long as she is happy, he will be happy. But you are right it is better to find a man who already possess these qualities than to change one. They are hard to come by though.
Sorry for saying your criterias are pretty high. I only said so because I feel it is rare to find a guy who is physically attractive, rich, good and has time on his hands.
And as the others said, wish you all the best in finding your future partner. :) And my apologies for the overestimation and for the very long post that must be straining your eyes. Take care.
Erik...chill~ it's allright! look, this topic is very subjective, everyone has got different perspective. And you don't have to apologize, I am not offended or anything. I am open to all comments and replying according to my POV.
In additon, there is no point changing yourself to suit another person, by the end of the day, you are just going to be you yourself. A human should change to be a better person themselves, not for others.
Then, we should love a person for who she/he is. Oh ya, I want to clarify that I did not state that I want someone who is physically attractive and rich ya.
Anyway, I would not go and hunt for my future partner, I believe my better half will find me when the time comes. Thank you for your kind wish. Take care.
:)
oh no... wish u luck 00
Seang Yik, what oh no? hey, i am just sharing my thoughts. Thank you for the wish.
seangYik.....triple like ur comment
I'm disagree with SeangYik's comment though.
A confident and high self belief guy will not say "oh no".
Should be "Oh ya!!!"
I hope you are still dreaming.
Anonymous, lol! I am not a dreamer. I do meet such guy as described in reality :)
well, at least you wrote the criteriae down and know what you want.
i think the criteriae are reasonable.
on a different topic:
perhaps i planned too much for my previous relationship.
CCC...yeah, thanks! I think it's good to have a plan for ur rship rather than no plan. It's just that u haven't meet the right girl yet.
may be i planned too much ahead.
anyway, same to you too, may be you haven't met the right guy yet.
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have been browsing your previous entries..
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